Thoughts on UP

One of the main character arcs that I deal with in my book is letting go.  In spiritual circles letting go means allowing things to come into our lives.  Allowing the things we want to manifest.  Letting go in the context of personal loss allows us to move on, to continue to live and not live in the past.  You see this a lot in cases of lost love or family death.  People tend to look at pictures or read letters of the past.

I think they’re trying to console themselves.  In the immediate moment after the incident it can help.  But if people do this after a significant time has gone by is it healthy?  And what is a significant time?  To a fruit fly whose lifespan is a day, then a few minutes could be pretty damn significant.

In UP by Pixar Carl has to deal with a difficult loss and broken promise.  It’s pretty evident that he can’t move on.  Life all around him represented by high-rise development is being built, life moving forward.  He just sits on his porch all day and sulks.

Then comes a little chubby Asian boy who helps show him the way.  His name is Russell.  Side note...

The movie never states the Asian boy’s last name, so I assume by his slanty eyes and straight black hair that he’s Asian.  Even IMDB has no last name on the chubby boy.  And if he is Asian, man, the boy speaks Engrish good.  I mean he speaks English well.  The writers had the forethought not to put an Asian accent with the Asian boy.  How revolutionary.

In both my book and UP the two concepts of letting go, which is really one, is dealt with.  Because in life you must let go if you are to create what it is you want.  You must let go if you are to move forward.  Isn’t that what we all want?

How do you let go?

I wrote a little about this in my Feel the Anger.

Should there be a mourning period?  Of course.  I think it's unhealthy not to have one.  But what should it be filled with?

I’ve fallen in love many times.  Deeply.  When those relationships ended, even by my own doing, the pain that followed ripped through me.  I cannot describe how much the pain tore me up, how it made my life impossible to live.  Most of you who’ve loved and lost know.  It sucks.

Aside from filling my time with the good memories of my past girlfriends, I spent a lot of time learning from my mistakes.  I read books, observed other relationships, scrutinize my current behavior to see if I lived in the past or moved toward my future.  I took an honest view of my mistakes.

One of the things I did wrong was wanting to be right all the time.  That it was important to be right.  Another words, my ego got in my way.  Whether I was right or not wasn’t important.  My girlfriend had to understand my point of view.  Because, damn it, my point of view was important.  It’s the source of my happiness.  Well...

I’m the source of my happiness.

The only person who should care about my point of view is me.

Everyone has their own point of view, but it matters little to me.  I cannot be responsible for their happiness.  They can’t be responsible for my happiness.  We as individuals are responsible for our own happiness.

It is here that we find empowerment.

Had I truly learned this, at least half the arguments would have disappeared.

The sad thing is most live through other people’s eyes.  It is the source of so much conflict.

Isn’t the meaning of life to be happy?

Being able to move forward can definitely facilitate that as UP shows us with humor.  The end of the movie shows that when we let go we get what we want and more.  Watch it as it teaches an important lesson.

Are We Born for the Sole Purpose of Purpose?

Many have asked why we are here, why were are born. My personal philosophy is that the meaning of life is to be happy.  As children were happy.  We spit up, drool, pick our noses, crap, and we laugh about it.  Babies cry because they need something - changing, food, injury - but that's not sadness.

A lot of people who teach personal growth/spirituality state that we all are born with a purpose.   And they also say we know our paths since childhood, and it isn't until well intentioned adults impose their own view of what reality/practicality is that we veer off it.  Let's assume that's true.

So if you're in a job and you aren't doing well in it, despite how much and hard you try to do well, is it a sign that you need to change?

Or if you're with someone and everything is going well, the connection is there, the core values are there, is this the person you're meant to be with?

Your parents divorce, leaving you to play on your own because you don't feel like making friends.  You spend your time pretending, fantasizing, making characters, and gain the skill of story telling.  Should you story tell?  (Robin Williams)

What about you go to Hollywood and you audition like crazy.  You love acting, love the arts, love the the city of angels.  People say you're a great actress, but every single audition yields nothing.  When is enough enough?  Or is there a limit?

I do know signs are given to us.  I mean, if you're at a job and don't like it, ask yourself why?  If the reason is because you want something better, or the job holds no meaning, move on.  Right?

Or if you're with someone and everything seems to be working, then you would continue to see them.  Yeah?

And what about reality/practicality versus dreams.  Failure happens, but isn't it meant to help guide us like driving a car?  Veer too close to the curb, turn the wheel.  Hear your tire hit the middle road markers, adjust your wheel.  These things have lead me to become a writer.  Since I've made that decision and committed to completing a book, I've felt content.  I've even found myself not really wanting to buy things.  Not the way I used to anyways.

Tell me what you think?

The Secret and The Action Thought

I've read a lot of books regarding success and personal growth.  There are three main things they focus on.  The way you think, the way you feel, and the way you act. One of the biggest publishing successes for personal growth was The Secret.  I have a copy of it.  It's main focus is thought.  Think it, dream it, and voila, it appears.

One  main thing it skims over is action.  The book refers to Jack Canfield.  It's actually my favorite part of the book.  One of the things he did was write a check out for $100,000 dollars and every morning he looked at it.  Then he got an idea, an inspiration to write a book.  He sold the book for .25 cents each.  He followed the golden nuggets of inspiration, advertised in the National Inquirer, and sold close to 400,000 copies.  Not only did he basically reach his envisioned goal, he celebrated.  Then he got another idea to write something called Chicken Soup for the Soul.  It was a bit successful.  If you call a major hit a bit.

What's the moral of the story?  Know where you are.  Know where you want to be.  Act on it.  Do something about it.  Just do it.  Sound familiar?  A small shoe company uses that slogan.

Years ago, my best friend and I were debating about what was more important.  Positive thought or Action thought.  What do you think?

You can wish to win the lottery, but until you buy a ticket, it's unlikely you're going to win.

Personally, positive thought is overrated.  Progressive thought, on the other hand, is awesome.  You want something?  Go for it.  Take the first step toward it.  Too many people want the success without putting the work behind it.  Think what you need to do to get what it is you want.

My friend coined the term progressive thought.  Thought that moves you toward your goal.  You want to be a great sprinter?  Sprint.  Want to be a great snowboarder?  Snowboard.  Want to write the great American novel?  Write.

And a small word on positive thinking.  It's not about thinking positively, but ignoring the crap that doesn't help you.  If a friend came up to you and said, "I wanna be an actor."  Most people would be like, "Good luck, dude.  It's like totally hard, man, and it's so not practical."  DON'T LISTEN TO THAT CRAP!  Let it roll off your back, have a progressive thought like, "I'm going to take acting classes."  You are now one step closer toward your dream.  Isn't that what Tom Hanks did?  Read his story.  It's amazing.

Just do it.