Vision Boards

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Out of curiosity, I went to my first vision board party last week. I’m constantly trying to meet new people and sometimes that entails me going to events like this. Another such example was when I had gone to a lucid dreaming and astral traveling meetup. I had locked the skeptic within me in his cage. He was rattling his tin cup on the bars, yelling at me, every time someone made a claim that he knew couldn’t be supported in any scientific way.

I thought the vision board party was some sort of MLM, multilevel marketing, recruitment. I personally hate those schemes. I’ve been involved in one. They’re a fucking cult. I don’t want to promote this particular organization, but the organizer had us meet with the cult leader. He stated that he had helped create thousands of vision boards. That he manifested things into his life using them. He told us to think outside of the box, so dream big. Want a big ass house? Put it on your board. Want those red pumps on your feet? Paste it on your board. Want that man with eight-pack abs? Put an inanimate picture of him up on that piece of inanimate cardboard. Vacation in Hawaii? Hell, yeah! Then put a picture of a beach, any beach, on that minced up tree and let that manifest into your life. Praise the cardboard!

The next important point that he expounded was that we must look at the completed board every day. Just look at it. Bask in it. Make love to it. OK. He hadn’t said those last two things. But he did say that we must look at it every day. And then bam! No further instructions were given past this. Do we speak to the board? Plead with it that the things on it would happen? Caress the pictures we’ve pasted on the board?

He kept talking about the law of attraction. The power of it. That we can all wield it. That as long as the universe knew what we wanted in our heart of hearts—my heart has more than one heart?—then we’ll attract it into our lives. Because the unimaginably vast universe cares what piddling sacs of water and goo—humans—want.

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I rolled my eyes. To be fair, if he had used the word prayer, faith, summon, cast a spell, concoct a potion, wave a wand, human sacrifice, I would have rolled my eyes regardless. Well, if he used that last one, I would have bolted out of the party, screaming like a little girl.

I used to be “spiritual”. I explored that realm a lot. I thought I could manifest things into my life, too. The issue is that people think they manifested it when they actually did something to bring that thing about. In plain words, the law of attraction is false. There is no scientific evidence to back that up. Unless we’re talking about magnetism or gravity. I’m not a physicist, so there might be other things that involve attraction. And that’s the thing! Spiritualists like this individual use scientific words with new age jargon to make them sound more authoritative. Law of Gravity. Law of Attraction. One is supported by mountains of scientific evidence. The other is supported by...nothing.

Here’s a video that explains better than I what I’m talking about:

Vision boards do very little to bring about our dreams. It may be a reminder for people to put forth the effort toward them. If I wanted to go on a Hawaiian vacation, then I’d save up for it and make the necessary logistical choices to make it happen. The vision board does nothing. It won’t save me the money. It won’t schedule the flight. It won’t call the hotel to make the reservations. If I wanted a pair of red pumps, then I’d save up for it and go to the store and buy it. Some people would call that process manifesting. I’d like to call it taking action. And no, I don’t actually want a pair of red pumps. Black is fine.

Now, can things happen with no effort on my own? Yeah. But I chalk that up to coincidence. Coincidences happen on the daily. To everyone. Everywhere. People have a hard time believing that because the chance of some coincidence happening can be rare. That doesn’t make it impossible. And it doesn’t mean that the universe made it happen. The lottery is a perfect example. There’s a reason why the lottery can grow to millions upon millions of dollars. Because it’s astronomically difficult to win it for an individual. But people do because millions upon millions of them partake in it.

Imagine a cardboard target with a pinhole slightly bigger than a grain of sand. Stand about six feet away. Take one grain of sand. Try throwing it through that pinhole. What’s the likelihood of accomplishing that? Pretty damn small. Now, take a fistful of sand and throw it at the target. The likelihood is now better.

A lot of these spiritualists tout anecdotal evidence. A long time ago, I was listening to a spiritual program. The host asked his listeners to try to manifest something: Imagine an amount of money and see if you can manifest it into your life. Why not, I told myself. What could it hurt? So I thought of $20,000 dollars. And then I waited. Bam! I got a check for around $15,000 green backs. I’m not sure how long I had waited, but months had gone by before I got the check. I was stunned!

Shazam! I said to myself, let me try this shit again. I thought of another $20,000 bucks. Months passed. And bam! No large checks came to me.

What had actually happened was that I worked for a company that skirted the California labors laws. Unbeknownst to me, a coworker of mine had filed a law suit. He won. A year or so later I got a letter stating that I was owed a settlement.

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Let’s look at the Law of Gravity. It’s called a law because we can use it to predictably calculate what happens when we drop something, for example. But to determine why or how a law happens, a theory is given.

The law of attraction is false because it isn’t constant. It’s nowhere near constant. Spiritualists and snake oil salesmen call it a law to make it sound legit. But it ain’t. That’s why anecdotal evidence can’t be used. These cult leaders cherry pick stories that support their position, and ignore those that falsify it.

It’s sort of like this: Ever think of a person, and then all of the sudden that person calls you? It’s a miracle, right? No. We find this significant because we’ve ignored all of the other instances that we thought of that person and nothing happened. Most of the time we can’t recall those moments. So when this miraculous thing happens, our minds assign significance to it, and then try to make sense of it: I manifested this person to call me.

If we as human beings want to create something or make something happen, then we have to take the steps toward that goal. Luck is probably involved in every step of the way. I want to become a best selling author. Sitting around wishing for it won’t do a thing for me. I do have to write the book, get an agent, and then that agent has to sell the book to a publisher. All of that takes a lot of effort and luck. Once my book is on the bookshelves, more effort in marketing and luck is required to get readers to buy my book. I often tell people that publishing is a crapshoot. I have little control over my book’s success. All I can do is take the steps necessary and hope for a lot of luck. Maybe I should just buy a lottery ticket.

How Much Risk Should People Take?

Do you take risks?

I’m a huge fan of the UFC.  If you don’t know what it is, look it up.  It’s as close to a real fight as you can get legally.  Right now their greatest and most revered champion, Anderson Silva, is getting a lot of crap from UFC fans.

There are two basic fighters that step into the cage, an eight-sided fenced in platform where the fights are held.  One type of fighter comes in to win.  Another type comes in not to lose.

Silva was on a huge winning streak, winning eight straight fights.  Less than a handful of people have ever accomplished that in the UFC.  His last fight that was held a couple of weeks ago would have marked his ninth, breaking the record.

He stepped into the cage to defend his title.  Without going into details, both he and the challenger fought not to lose, which made for a boring fight.  The president of the UFC even apologized.

When going for your dreams, taking risks is necessary.  That’s the hard part.

I spent more than three years writing my book.  I went in to win.  I didn’t think about winning when writing the book.  But my intention was to get published.

Is there a limit to the risk?

Justin Lin is known for directing movies such as THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT, ANNAPOLIS, and FAST AND FURIOUS to name a few.  I first knew of him when he directed BETTER LUCK TOMORROW.  He’d spent about $100,000 on the movie by maxing out eight to ten credit cards.

That's going in to win.

MTV ended up buying the movie, recouping Lin’s cost.  But the win came when we got to direct James Franco, Donnie Wahlberg, Jordana Brewster, Roger Foo and Tyrese Gibson in ANNAPOLIS.  His risk brought him his dream of filmmaking.

Is there a limit to risk?

I think the risk should be somewhat related to the goal.  If I’m writing my fantasy, risking my life shouldn’t be part of it.  What I'm risking is my ego, three years of my life and my dream.  The win in my mind is awesome.  If I’m a fighter, then my life is at risk.  The aims are different, which brings in different sets of risks.

Ultimately, the limits are personal.

I’ve been watching UFC since it first came out in the early 90’s.  And I was disappointed with Silva’s performance, even though he won.  He definitely came in to the fight not to lose.  And the fans are speaking out.

Throw Your Goals Out Again!

I got a lot of comments from different sources regarding my post Throw Out Your Goals.  There were a few misconceptions that I want to cover.  First let me list some of them:

  • Goals are important to accomplish what we want
  • Brad Pitt has good genes and is lucky
  • Success is defined differently for different people
  • Just because you love something doesn't mean you'll be good at it
  • Not every one can do what they love and get paid for it

 

There were plenty more.

Let's start with defining success.  My first post never defined success.  It defined certain people's level of success but never went as far as gave it a definition.  In this post, I will remain ambiguous on the definition of success.  Because who ever commented and said success is different for different people is correct.  I know a man who thinks he's successful because he's raised healthy, intelligent children.  I know fighters who've beaten great opponents who believe their own performances were below par.  Hell...Donald Trump hates being a multi-millionaire, and only considers himself a success when he has multi-billions.

Success is much like a goal.  Once you reach it, your work, the process to attain it, doesn't stop.  If a fighter won her first fight, she doesn't stop training.  She continues to train for the next fight.  If she's won the world belt in her weight class, then she still has to continue to sharpen her skills for her first title defense.  What happens when she defends it successfully?  Celebrates?  For sure!  Beware.  There are others who are hungry for her belt.  Back to the process.  What if she loses?  Back to the process.

I love this one.  Brad Pitt has good genes and is lucky.  I'm not denying his good genes and looks.  What I do deny is his luck.  To say he was lucky is to deny the hard work he'd committed, wearing a chicken suit, working odd jobs, before he got his first major role.  Look at Steve Carrell.  He was an unknown comic for twenty years until luck struck him.  Luck?  No.  Hard work and perseverance?  Most definitely.  

And good looks was never a prerequisite for success in Hollywood.  With over a million good looking people in Los Angeles, it doesn't explain Jack Black.  Now, some find him hot.  But he's doesn't fit the traditional leading man look.

This next one is good.  You can't make a living doing what you love is a lot of people's excuse to settle for mundane jobs.  I'm not saying quit your day job, lose your house, die of starvation.  Keep your day job, but work on what you love during your free time.  John Grisham is a great example.  He was a lawyer for ten years before he wrote his first novel.  He got to the office two hours before he started his real job, wrote, then started on his case list.  The awesome thing is he published his first book.

If you don't think you can make a living doing what you love, then you won't.  Simple as that.

Think you'd suck being a parent?   You will.

Believe you can run a marathon?  Follow up with action, and you will.

Whether you think you can or can't, you're right.  Henry Ford said that.  He wanted to create a V-8 engine.  He surrounded himself with brilliant engineers. You know what they said?  Can't be done.  Ford pushed them forward, told them it was possible.  Through several failures, it was done.  Look it up.  True story.

The last one I want to tackle is:  just because you love it doesn't mean you can be good at it.  Crap.  In Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers:  The Story of Success, he talks about mastery of skill.  He'd found one commonality among all world class musicians, artists, athletes, etc.  What is it?  Ten thousand hours of practice.  You want to be a world class anything?  Here it is, ten thousand hours of work.  That's why you gotta love the process, not the goal.  Love the process, the goal will come many times over.