Men's Intuition

Men’s Intuition. Is that an oxymoron like government intelligence? Trumpcare?

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Once upon a time, I had been a life coach to kids. There were two basic tenets that I followed. One: Listen to them. Whatever they told me, no matter how ridiculous, I would hear them out. The reason was simple. I don't have the ability to read minds. To help them deal with whatever they had been going through, I depended on them to tell me. And because I didn't judge them for what they had told me, they felt free to tell me anything without fear of repercussions.

Two: I used my intuition to try and read in between the lines. Be it through their word choice, body language, and what their parents had communicated to me.

Women have always been the ones credited with having intuition. Studies have shown that to be true. But I think the reasons as to why women can read people better than men is because they were allowed to feel and express their emotions, where men were taught/scolded to hide them.

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Hence, our communication problems between the sexes.

In saying that, all humans have the ability to read each other. Some are better than others, but still.

I went to a party and met this beautiful woman. I was my charming self, of course, which usually meant that people run for the hills because I'm pretty direct. Self-censoring has been an issue. Not for me. For other people. Because I don't censor much. She and I traded numbers. We went out to dinner. Once. Afterward I knew I didn't want to date her. Friends asked me how my interest had fallen so quickly. I didn't know why. Initially, I thought it was because I was afraid to start something up, having just broken off a relationship. I did try to come up with reasons, but they all sounded false to me. She and I hung out. Became friends. And it was through our time together that I figured out why I hadn't pursued anything further than just a friendship.

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Listing out those reasons aren't important here. What's important was that my intuition, this silent voice within me, had pretty much killed my hard on for this woman. I could have taken the blue pill to liven my serpent, but that was not the issue. There had been no issue. And my fear that I didn't want to start anything up so soon after a breakup sounded reasonable, but that wasn't the truth either.

Often times when I'm at the gym, I want to talk to a girl. Sometimes I hesitate, which pisses me off. Women want men to approach them. So when I don't, I feel like a wimp. So I thank my intuition when I see their boyfriend come up and give them a hug or a kiss. Now, I'm not saying that every time I hesitate, the girl has a boyfriend or would be bad for me. But we as humans, especially in a world where intuition isn't relied upon as much, need to trust and cultivate it.

We probably act against this innate wisdom more often than not. The question is how do we know the difference between that truth versus our irrational fear that stops us from living life?

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First, we need to stop beating ourselves up when we don't do what we wanna do, or forget something, or fail. Beating yourself down is one sure way of numbing your intuition. When a parent yells at their child enough times, the child will stop talking/communicating to them. So when we beat ourselves, we'll either stop listening to our intuition, or you'll quiet its silent voice. Sometimes, if not all the time, our hesitations, forgetfulness and failures happen for a reason. Learn from them. See if you can get past them. Failure is the greatest teacher. It tells us that the thing we tried doesn't work. Now we know.

Second, when (irrational) fear doesn't involve death, maybe we let go of the break and stomp on the gas pedal and don't run over anyone. If you're dating someone, and it doesn't work out, then take the time to learn from the experience. If you want to start your own business, and it doesn't work out, try and figure out why. What you'll find is the experience that you've accumulated while trying something out will help guide you in your next adventure, be it love or business. And that's the great thing about life. The experiences. People get on rollercoasters because of the ups and downs and the twists and turns. Not to reach the end of the ride. People watch scary movies because they want to be frightened. Not to reach the rolling credits. What makes life memorable is the craziness. But if we let our irrational fear stop us from doing anything worth while, then is life worth living?

Free Coffee!

Continuing on with yesterday's post ofReading People,I remembered something today that made me laugh.  Several months ago, I was working in another office.  They have those vending machines that dispences hot cocoa, coffee, tea, etc. Periodically, the vendor will come to reload the machines and allow that particular coffee machine to give out free drinks.  All you have to do is press the clear plastic button, and, bam, free coffee or cocoa.  They can even choose between a large or small cup.  Keep in mind this happens often enough that once the worker bees hear about this a line forms.

Nothing funny so far, I know.

The one constant comment about the coffee?  "Yuck!"

Do the cubicle bees throw it out?  No.

What do they do?  That's right.  They drink it.

Do they come back for more?  Yeah.

What is it about free stuff that no matter how bad it may be people will line up for it?  It's the strangest behavior.

You see this in buffets.  People prepare themselves the whole day by not eating.  Once they get to the buffet they eat their fill.  They'll continue to eat, making sure they consume the price of admission.  Then are they done, yet?  Well...there's dessert.  You can't have dinner and not have dessert.

They'll load up on ice cream, cakes, cookies.  It's as if they've never seen anything like this before and hoard all the sweets.  By the time they lug their goods back, they're too full and leave most of the dessert.  And most buffet places have a policy of no doggy bags.

Why do people do this?

What's crazier is the buffet called Todai.  They serve Asian style seafood like sushi, lobster, different filleted fish, etc.  This one Chinese lady had an empty plate.  She rapped her fingers along the bottom edge, waiting.  Saliva lined her bottom lip.  Her eyes widened.  The chef appeared from the back and placed about half a dozen halved lobsters.

This lady had no shame.  As he placed them on the serving plate, she scooped them up.  I'm not a huge fan of lobster, but, damn, scand-o-lous.

What is it with people?

It's simple.  They don't live in the moment, busy scarfing everything they can get their hands on, not enjoying life right now.  They're constantly thinking there isn't enough, living in the future, letting the present fly by.  And it's no wonder when they're on their death beds, they think, "What happened?"

The hero of my story deals with this on a constant basis.  It's the one thing that saps his soul, making his job as peace keeper miserable.  He'll have to find a way to cope.

Is Passion Needed in Life?

Passion.  Is it important?  People talk about it all the time.  Lovers look for it.  Artists seek it in their muse.  Musicians sing about it over and over.  If passion is important, do people need it in their lives?  And should every one have it? Passion is one of my main themes that I explore in my book.  Because it's a novel, I can't lecture about it.  I explore it from both the hero and antagonist.  Kinda like William Wallace and King Edward I in Braveheart.  For passion can infect people who are both ethical and horrid.

My coworker said passion is important but not necessary to live.  "Someone needs to work at Walmart," she stated.  That's true.  Someone needs to do farm work, run the Mickey D's, man the gas stations, pick up the garbage.  "Look at our company," she said.  There's about 36,000 employees.  "Our company couldn't run itself.  It needs us."

Again, all those are true statements.

But isn't freedom of choice the freedom to choose what you do in life?  For many years I've searched for my passion, the thing that took me out of time, out of my daily drudgery.  If you've read my bio, you know it's telling stories.  I love it.  Do I love every single part of it?  No.  But do I love it almost all the time?  Most definitely.

I have my day job.  However, it's only a means to an end.  That's it.  Nothing more.

Michelangelo is famous for painting the Sistine Chapel and sculpting David among other things.  I was listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer, and he said Michelangelo's passion was sculpting.  His day job was the Sistine Chapel.  I thought that was interesting.

Without my passion for stories, I'd be lost.  I've been lost before and it sucked.  That state of limbo led me to mine.

I think William Wallace said it best in the movie.  "Every man dies.  Not every man lives."

So, is passion needed?  And are my coworker's statements just a shield to protect her from her own power to create what she wants in life?