Scorecards

Sssssshiet!

Sssssshiet!

Couple weeks ago, I had the pleasure of being judged by my boss. It was time for midyear scorecards where they tell me how good of a job I'm doing and how much of a value I am. I asked my manager who read these scorecards, and he said, "Probably nobody."

I've never put much stock in what people say about me, whether good or bad. Though words do hurt sometimes, especially if it's from someone close like family or girlfriends. And since I'm not trying to climb up the corporate ladder, I put little effort in improving my scorecard.

Hoo Ah!

Hoo Ah!

I was talking to a coworker the other day and she was upset that P90X didn't shed the weight off her body like the informercial promised.  There are two issues here, or maybe just one.  First, it's an informercial. Second, she didn't try very hard.  Both led me to believe how unaware she may be.

One of the many quotes I have a hard time with is: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

Being a former actor, one thing actors do is audition, audition, audition.  Most of the time they get rejected, which is normal. But every time they hope to get hired.  Is this insanity? No. Things can change from moment to moment.

What's different is the day, the role, your attitude in that moment, the people involved, etc.  There are thousands of things that can be different that it hardly qualifies as the same.

Even though I was rejected by every literary agent I've submitted to, doesn't mean I won't submit to them again to try and protect my insanity. I think you have to be a bit insane in order to write a book and a dash of craziness sprinkled in to want to get published.

Being aware of my own efforts, aware of my own writing technique, open to criticisms and suggestions, and adapting myself to accommodate the story (the bigger picture), which is what's important, not me as the writer, I'm able to trust in myself in the direction that I'm heading.

My coworker should have done the same.  Was she trying hard enough? Was she watching what she ate? No, I found out. Her eyes were closed.  She placed the expectation of being thin on a product and not on her own efforts. Deep inside, I could tell, she secretly blamed the program.  It is an infomercial after all. But we sometimes don't see that it is us we should be aware of and make little changes, like putting a little more effort, to yield huge results.

Is Rebelling a Bad Thing?

The hero of the 7th Province has a choice.  He either rebels against his close friend and former mentor, or join him in taking over the world.  Each choice ends in war.  That's a tough place to be.  Is there a correct choice?  For the hero I'm not sure.  As a writer, the choices that each character makes, ultimately mine, is a crap shoot. I love that.

Even though I've plotted my whole novel, each day I wrote brought new discoveries and challenges that made me giddy.  I'm never sure how things were to happen.  I just know they had to happen.  As a result, writing my fantasy was a huge adventure.

Is rebelling bad?

I have a secret.  It's one of my favorite things about myself.  I don't get along well with authority figures.  That doesn't bode well since my day job is encrusted in a corporate empire.  The funny thing is they have a lot of propaganda that emphasizes their business values.  I won't get into the hypocrisy of it.

Is rebelling not a good thing?

A parent tells a child to kiss Uncle Louie.  Child scrunches her little face and shakes her head.  Parents eggs the child on, saying Uncle Louie loves the child.  Child pouts her lips, turns, runs toward her parent's leg, and grasps with all her might.  Parent gets upset, unhinges the child, pushes her to Uncle Louie, and forces her to kiss him on the cheek.  (I credit this example to my best friend.)

Is this wrong?

Hell yeah.

The parent just took the child's power away, forced her to kiss a strange man, despite her not wanting to.  If Uncle Louie were a child molester, the parent just punched a large hole in the child's ability to resist the attack.  In the child's mind love is associated with force.  And we wonder why some women stay with men who batter them.

What if the child was just being a brat?

Firm discipline should take place.  You decide what firm is.  That's different in each culture, society, family and individual.  But in the example above, the child is not being a brat.

Teaching a lot of adolescent kids made me realize one thing.  Almost every single one exerts their own independence.  Every parent exerts their control in an attempt to guide them.  It's the nature of the ocean, the ebb and flow.  Parents think their kids are being a pain in the ass.  Offsprings think their parents are being assholes.  What more could you ask for in a relationship?

Think of a pendulum searching for their own center.

Parents often ask me to infect a behavioral change.  But that's an impossible task.  All I can do is mentor them without limitation.  Tom Cruise taught me that.

He was on Inside the Actor's Studio.  A great show by the way.  He said that his mother never limited him in what he did.  She was watchful, but allowed him to explore the world.  Now he's some actor making at least twenty million dollars per movie, chump change.

As you sit in your day job, and if it's not the place you want to be, then what are you doing about it?

See part 1 to this article.