"She eat pork?"
"No," I said to my sister.
"You stop eating pork?"
My sister shook her head. "Don't know how you will make it work."
During my birthday dinner, my friends and I were talking about what makes two people compatible. Someone mentioned having things in common.
I shook my head.
"Don't you think we have a lot of things in common?" my girlfriend asked.
I raised an eyebrow like Spock contemplating air coming out of a person's ass as humor. "What do you think we have in common?"
"We like books..." She thought for a moment. And that moment was met with quiet as our friends stared at us.
"See. We don't have nuthin' in common."
She frowned and leaned close to me. "I thought we had a lot in common."
"No. But that doesn't matter. We have fun together."
What else does any couple need?
I'm not sure if love is enough to keep a relationship alive. I've loved all my past girlfriends. And we're not together anymore.
A lot of people make a big deal about having things in common. And others say, "That's like dating yourself."
So who's right?
The group of people that believe commonality is the key to a lasting relationship touts that things like cultural differences can wedge a couple apart. And delving into common interests can pull a couple together.
Others say having more differences allows the couple to share in each other's interests, open up deep conversations, strengthening their connection.
It seems to me, the focus is on the prescription of how to make an everlasting relationship, rather than taking a step back and describing what a great relationship looks like.
For me the one thing that ended all my relationships was when fun had stopped, or the joy of being with that person ended. That often happened a year or so before the actual break up. Sigh. Old habits.
There are three truths:
- Men are idiots.
- Women are crazy.
- But if you both are having fun, do crazy idiots matter? Hint: no.
The first two truths are really just one in that we're all human. We make mistakes. We fail. Shit happens. And that's fine because those things can guide us in life. We also have moments of greatness, success, and when we remember to just be, we'll experience joy. Welcome to being human.
When we see a couple having a lot of fun, we automatically think their relationship is going well, despite knowing if they have anything in common or not.
The vice versa is also true. When we see a couple in a heated argument, I think, how long before I can hit on that chick after her break up?
The key here is fun. People can come from two different worlds and have fun.
My girlfriend is a devout Muslim. I'm a devout heathen. Do we get into arguments? Hell yeah. But do we have fun together? Hell yeah.
However, I think there are basic core values that are important, and they vary from person to person.
I went to a comedy show couple weeks ago and this comedian asked, "Do you need money to have sex with a woman?"
This Asian chick yelled, "Yes!"
If the man in a relationship is a saver, and his wife has $100,000 in credit card debt, then they're going to run into issues. Can they work it out? Sure. It'll be difficult. But money seems to be at the core of many arguments. Nothing's impossible. Breathing in space with no space suit? Good luck.
Point is, any limitation placed is done by the individual. But then, I'd rather not date that Asian chick from the show. Sounds like a fucking bitch.