Two Ways to Kick Ass

Oops. Did I do that?

Oops. Did I do that?

There's only two ways to Kick Ass, the movie.  The high road.  Or the low road.

Let's take the high road since that's gonna be short and not so sweet.  Having an 11 year-old girl kill endless mob men like a red-hot knife through butter is horrific, gruesome, grotesque, highly unnecessary, and just freakin' stupid.  Something like this would never happen in real life.  Her acrobatics makes Jackie Chan look like a first grader.

Well...that wasn't all that fun.

When I see a movie with the word "Kick Ass" as its title, I have a slight feeling, an inkling that this movie isn't going to delve into the meaning of life.  That's what my woman's intuition is telling me.  This movie is about escaping the real world, whatever that may be for you, and having fun.  It's pure fun.  It's entertaining.  And the writing is pretty damn good.

Jane Goldman is one of the screenwriters, and she took the screenwriting class David Freeman teaches. And one of the main things he emphasizes is surprises, to not write cliches.  So I expected Kick-Ass, played by Aaron Johnson, to literally kick ass.  Any real person who has no fighting skill, no athletic ability of any kind will get their ass kicked when they try and fight bad guys.  And that surprised me.  No super powers here.

I also didn't expect an 11 year-old girl, aptly named Hit Girl, to literally kick ass.  And it was nice to see that she wasn't written to have any kind of remorse.  Nor did the movie explain why.  It didn't need to.  It would have taken away from the comedic carnage that she commits.  She's a highly trained killer who could probably take on many Jackie Chans.  Chloe Moretz's presence dripped off the screen.  I think she made the part and even stole the show.

Nicholas Cage played the role of Big Daddy.  His whole thing is vengeance.  But he teaches his daughter how to kill through love and adoration as if he was teaching her how to paint a Monet.  He doesn't teach her with anger, to punish those who took away his love.  And that's different.

I had seen several critics take the high road.  And I'm thinking, "Are you serious?"  Apparently, yes.

When the main character is named Kick-Ass, aided by Hit Girl and Big Daddy, and the kid who made McLovin from Hawaii famous (SUPERBAD) play one of the bad guys called Red Mist, you can't take this movie too serious.  Or else you won't have fun.

Nothing New Under the Sun

"What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun." Ever heard this?

As a storyteller, this can be a very limiting view.  Or is it?

Romeo_and_JulietWilliam Shakespeare's version of Twilight

A prominent screenwriter in Hollywood, David Freeman, gave a seminar.  There are hundreds of seminars I could have attended, but why did I go to his?  If you go to his site, he talks about techniques in writing.  No theories.  In fact, he gave so many techniques, it was like getting a trunk full of tools.  And in any one job, it’s highly unlikely you’ll use all of them, but you’ll definitely use enough to make your story emotional, something he emphasizes a lot.

He agreed with the quote above, but in a very un-limiting way.

I love going to movies, and one of the pleasures is seeing the previews.  I hate missing the previews like I hate missing the beginning of any movie.  One movie I’m anticipating is Avatar.

When I first saw it, I thought, James Cameron stole my idea!  WTF Cameron?  How’d you hack into my PC?

As I watched the preview, his premise was different.  Similar but different.

Then an image sparked in my mind.  American Indians gazing out into the sea as English ships sailed toward them.

The story of the Native American Indians against pioneering pilgrims is a familiar one.  It’s empire building.  The conflict?  The natives don't want to leave.

Look at Braveheart.  I love that movie.  It’s the same thing.

Look at the battle of Thermopile, 300.

Look at the Mongols invading China.

Look at China’s history of the seven independent states warring against each other for power.

Look at Star Wars.

Look at King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

We have tons of stories based on the idea of oppression.  Sometimes the story ends with unification, like China and the seven states.  Sometimes we have stories of independence, like William Wallace’s fight for Scotland’s freedom.  But they all stem from a single idea.

Avatar is no different.  A powerful force, in this case us in the far future, wants something, a valuable mineral.  To mine it, we have to “politically” move a native race.  Easy enough.  But wait!  The native people don’t wanna move.

And the story begins.

Freeman said there were an unlimited amount of stories that could be told using the story computer.  Look at any story that you love or connect to.  Find a variation.

Turn the hero into a heroin.

Change the race.

Change the time.

Change the setting.

Change anything.

Look at Romeo and Juliet.  Change the time to the present.  Make the male a brooding, James Dean-looking vampire.  Now you have Twilight.

The Princess and the Frog is a great example.  What do we expect to happen when the princess kisses the frog?  The frog should turn to her prince.  But Disney was like, “Hell no. Dat’s been dun.  Da princess should turn to a frog, sucka!”

OK.  I doubt Disney execs would talk like that.  But they used the story computer to churn out what seems like a great story.

The Seven Provinces is a familiar story.  It's about empire building.  It's an underdog story.  It's about a man trying to protect his family in a time of war.  It's about oppression, betrayal, tragedy.  And much more.

There may be nothing new under the sun.  But that doesn’t mean new stories can’t be told using familiar themes.