Low Expectations

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In my previous post, I had stated that expectations can be the bane of relationships, using Valentine's Day as an example. If the woman had been expecting a grand gesture of gift and fine dining, and she received a card and dinner at Chili's, then resentment might grow. If the man had expected a superbly satisfying blow on his one-eyed python, but instead caught the stink eye from his lady, then resentment might root itself within him. Resentment can grow and explode into a full-blown argument. And those are exhausting.

The post came about when a woman had asked me how to have a long happy relationship. My answer was to have no expectations.

You know when you go to a Star Wars movie, like the one released at the end of 2017, and there were a jack load of people that were disappointed with the film? Everyone entered the theater with pretty high expectations. Me included. I remember thinking halfway through the movie: This smells like stinky butt. I had some hope that the end of The Last Jedi would sorta bring everything together, much like how Pulp Fiction had done, and I would feel like an asshole for thinking such blasphemy. Yeah...no.

Had I lowered my expectations to where Hell exists, then I wouldn't have felt so bad paying seventeen bucks. With no expectations, I would have enjoyed the film for what it is. Entertaining crap.

Now, I'm not saying you should lower your expectations so your relationship can be long and happy. Doing so would end the relationship in a dull silence of an atomic explosion.

If a husband does nothing to help his wife when she's sick, then she has two basic choices. Accept his behavior. Or not. I don't expect many women would let their husbands' callousness to go unpunished. A discussion needs to take place at this point.

Going back to the Valentine's Day example, the couple should set expectations. Do they want something grand and memorable? Or do they want something low key? Neither is wrong in my eye. Well none of those things can fit in my eye. But expectations should be set.

That's why communication is so important in a relationship. Each side should state what they want, and then compromise from there. It's a goddamn relationship, dammit! So go. And relate.