Is Your Word Your Bond?

I am narrowing my eyes at you, sucka

I am narrowing my eyes at you, sucka

When I write, I do my best to convey certain things using physical movement and body language. A recent episode of Mob Doctor showed a patient who was having what was thought to be a panic attack right before walking down the isle to get married. Astonished, her would be husband said, “You had a panic attack about marrying me?”

She vehemently professed her love, but he walked out. Understandable. Later, the doctor said sometimes the body knows the truth, even if we don’t.

I’m not sure if body language ever gets talked about much in writing classes. But then I don’t attend any writing classes. Characters’ body language need to be honest, despite the words they are saying. This helps pull the reader/audience in because we all try to analyze people.

Yes. You need a breath mint

Yes. You need a breath mint

I’d just watched HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, the premise being that what men say and what they do don’t always coincide. So when a guy says I’ll call you, but then never does, women may not get that he’s not that into you. One of the male leads, played by Justin Long, showed signs of interest for the female lead, Ginnifer Goodwin: He always gave her advice, took calls from her when he was on a date, seemingly made himself available when other men didn’t. So even if he didn’t say he was interested, we are to assume he did.

Next scene, she confronts him, he denies being interested, the audiences’ tension increases because we thought he was. At this point, I was a little let down. The writing for this moment was good. Creating tension for the audience gets us involved.

At the end, or course, we find that he was interested and they live happily ever after. Coincidentally, Ginnifer plays Snow White in ONCE UPON A TIME.

Often in life, we ignore the adage "Actions speak louder than words". It’s probably why most of my friends are characters in my book. Why I left my martial arts school. I tend to throw away friends who don’t follow through, after a few chances of course.  I'm nice.

Shut yo mouth, boy

Shut yo mouth, boy

In one of my favorite movies, JERRY MAGUIRE, Beau Bridges’ character says, “My word is my bond.” Then he screws over Jerry. Good moment.

People’s word today is nowhere close to being their bond. And it’s sad. I’m not saying you can’t change your mind about things. Happens all the time. But when people say we should meet up, and then they forget that speaks to how much they value you as a person. That does not speak to how you value you as a person. Two different things.

I had two of my friends say they wanted to meet up on different occasions and both forgot. So I know how much they value me as a friend and will not likely continue as theirs.

I’m not sure whether this is extreme or not, and I realize this is the reason I can count on one hand the number of people that I completely trust. But you see this with battered women. We’ve all seen it in movies and TV. Battered women can’t and won’t leave their abusive spouse or boyfriends. And it takes a huge amount of strength and courage to do so.

I’ve seen this in my own life as well. One of my exes and I argued like cats and dogs, fire and water. She was the water cuz she won all the fights. We fought about everything. Our relationship was not physically abusive but mentally. At least once a week, if not more, I could feel the argue bug sneaking from my stomach up my throat, and despite all the effort of resisting, I contested my point. Then, full on argument. If not me, then she’d start it. Two years this went on until one day we had no choice but break up. Sometimes our bodies know better than we do.