How to Fail at Dating

I had a small spiritual epiphany watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory. How can a sitcom give anyone anything other than empty entertainment? I don't know, but it helped explain the string of bad dates I've been having. Whatchutalkinbout, Willis?

I'd written an article about the show, describing how the writers had given depth to characters who all seem to be the same on the surface: nerds and geeks.

One character, Sheldon Cooper, is a doctor in physics whose dream is to win the Nobel Prize and attain the fame that comes along with it. In one episode in season seven, Sheldon makes a discovery that earns him global fame. So, of course, he's walking around praising himself. One of his character traits is narcism. Then disaster darkens his world when he realizes his discovery was based off of a simple mistake that he had made.

Here's the epiphany. If Sheldon hadn't made the mistake, then he wouldn't have made the discovery.

Now, hindsight is 20/20. As we move through time, we don't know if mistakes will lead to greatness. But in spiritual circles living the guided life, trusting The Lord for He has a plan for all, living with innate wisdom, co-creating with the Source, living from the inside out, or whatever else you wanna call it suggests that there is some guiding force. Those same circles state that our free will is just a basic choice of having faith and following it or flat out ignoring it.

So how does this apply to my bad dates and disconnects with women? It seems women don't realize I have a sense of humor. And I warn them that 99% of the time I'm joking, and the other 1% I'm not serious. But still, I seem to make the same mistake, making jokes that women take seriously. You'd think I would stop with the jokes. Nope.

Stop me if you've heard this one: A couple is about to get married, but the guy gets cold feet. Or a feeling of canceling the wedding overwhelms the woman. Maybe, their intuition is telling them something. Although, I suspect some of the trepidation is just trepidation. 

But I also suspect that some of that is truth. And calling off the wedding or engagement goes against societal norm. Cuz, hell, everything has been paid for, invitations have been sent, airline tickets have been bought, the venue has been reserved. We can't cancel a miserable marriage and a horrible life together to inconvenience people. That would be rude.

Recently, I had made a joke about paying for dinner to my date. And I realized that was a mistake when the girl went off on me. We've since never talked again. Oh, well.

I always pay for dinner just as I would open the door, let the lady order first, offer my hoodie if she's cold. Yeah, no suit and tie for me. Whether she's the one who got away (that would be a no), or a good mistake where I dodged a bullet (most likely), I'm content.

When dating, it's good to fail hard and fast. That way you're not spending precious time with someone who isn't a match. I say this because I've met a lot of people who seem to get hung up on the fact that they failed, as a result, are afraid to fail again, and to prevent further failure they don't move on, which is true failure. My path that led me to writing has been wrought with many failed dreams and attempts at many different art forms. Some creative art forms took longer for me to realize they weren't for me. Others like trying to learn how to sing was pretty quick. You do not want to hear me sing at a karaoke bar; basically, I sound like I'm reading the words on the screen because I am reading the words on the screen.