Recently, I've had a lot of people tell me not to date the girl I'm currently seeing. One woman even told me to turn around and bolt. Like how do I do that?
"Hey, I miss you. Um..." I say and do a 180 and run. I ain't that fast. It's not like one moment I'm there, the next, BAM, I'm gone. Or do I dance my way out?
The reason behind this wonderfully stupid advice is because of my girl's background, in particular her religion. There has been a lot of backlash against her religion, but that doesn't mean I should just give up before anything starts. And most of the fear isn't about the religion itself but the major differences in culture between her and I, that the divide is too great for love to overcome.
Romeo and Juliet anyone? But that's a freakin' movie that starred Leonardo and Carrie from Homeland.
First of all, nothing in life is guaranteed. Except death. Maybe. How many weddings have happened this year alone that will end up divorcing? What's the going statistic? Half of all marriages end in divorce?
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all -Alfred Lord Tennyson
And I'm not writing this to defend my situation, since I've given very little information to support my cause. There's just something about me, about a lot of people out there now, that wants to do our own thing, despite the good-natured and ill advice that we get.
I'm not surprised that so many people feel unfulfilled. So many times we want to pursue a dream only to be beaten down by naysayers. And, I feel, most of the time those naysayers are trying to knock us down from our own pedestals because they're afraid to chase their own dreams. That's when I say:
And that's the key to moving forward (not the bitch part), realizing that that fear is not real. Unless you're being stared down by a grizzly bear, in which case do a 180 and bolt. No. Don't do that. Play dead. Not sure if that works or not. You know what? Just avoid confronting a grizzly. It ain't good for your health.
It's like writing a book. No, writing a book is not like confronting a bear that can tear you apart limb from limb and feed you piece by piece to her cubs. There's a lot of doubt that flows through my mind that anyone outside my circle of friends and family would read it. Hell! Most of friends and family haven't even asked about my book, let alone read the first chapter, which can be seen here.
But that's OK.
I write because something, maybe the story, has called on me to write. So I write. I sacrifice hanging out with friends, seeing movies, or partying through the wee hours of the night, so I can write. Instead of spending money on my heart's desire, I pay my writing coach to tell me how much I suck. OK. She doesn't do that. Despite her very honest critique, I write through my tears. OK. I don't actually cry. Cuz I'm a man! Will the world read my books? I don't know. A part of me says no, but here I am, writing.
Since I can't tell the future, or have any real control over my literary success (no one does), I take one step at a time and trudge forward. So should you. Whatever makes your heart sing, do that thing. Unless it includes hurting others. Avoid that. Please. Instead, go bother a grizzly.