Living the single life has its freedoms. You can go anywhere, do anything, and just be without having to answer to anyone. It's certainly priceless, even at my ripe old age of forty. My brother had asked how my love life is going, and I said I don't have one, aside from myself, but I won't go there. Then he chuckled and said don't I wish I had my ex . I quickly said no, which is an honest answer, despite not moving to da islands. When I had decided to move to Hawaii, my ex-girlfriend and I decided to split. We still talk today, but nothing substantial, except for Dobby, the little dog she and I adopted. She has custody. I've seen enough court dramas to know that California won't separate the mother from her baby, so I registered Dobbs under my ex's name. He's now a Chip and Dale dancer at Studs. You know what they say about children who come from broken homes.
I've always thought about the difference between being alone and loneliness because there's quite a difference. As a writer, and most writers understand this, this is an endeavor that requires a lot of alone time. Thousands of dedicated hours. But I'm not lonely, I don't crave to be with someone as I write. A fellow writer stated his friends are the characters he writes about, and I get that. For me, I tend to have tunnel vision when I'm in the zone, as people call it, so the feeling of loneliness never enters, unless one of my characters are feeling it. Loneliness on the other hand is feeling that you need to be with someone in order to be whole, but what people don't realize is this leaves you feeling hole. They crave to hear those three little words:
You complete me.
Those utter and misconstrued words that have become part of our culture has perpetuated this misnomer of feeling whole when being with someone you're supposed to be with. If that were true, then we'd be born with half a body, half a mind, and half a soul. That, of course, just ain't true. We are born whole, we will die whole, despite what we have or don't have.
In saying this, that don't mean I don't wanna be with nobody. Yeesh. I think I'm missing a negative in that sentence. It just means I take my time finding someone, and sometimes I judge myself harshly when I fail. Hey, I'm only human.
I went to a happy hour and found this woman intriguing and tried to find an opportunity to pull her away and ask her out. Being in a crowded bar made it difficult to create a connection, to create attraction, and by the end of the day, it didn't happen. I suck! My intuition for some reason was trying to tell me to move on, even when happy hour was still going on. I'm like, hell no sucka, let's give this anothah good old boy try. And another opportunity arose and I took it and found out that she was involved. All of the sudden, the judgement that I had faded away to nothing and realized that I should have listened to my soul.
When I coached kids, I always told parents that if their kids don't heed their guidance, then it must be left to a greater teacher, the hard lesson of life. You thought I was gonna say me, huh? But life is a great teacher, and an impartial one. It doesn't care. It's just there, and we either learn or we fall. Great thing about falling is we can always get back up.