Friday night I was having dinner with some coworkers. It was an interesting mix of people. Well, we were all Asian. The mix resided in our place in life both socially and spiritually. There were three women. One was recently engaged, humbled by the generosity of her new fiance. She was gifted a 2.1 carat diamond ring. One wore a t-shirt that showed off her assets without being too lewd. Lewd? Another was a recent Socal transplant with a fiery attitude to boot.
Then there were three men. One was a self-hating man who struggled against religion and his own reality. Another was a traditional conservative who didn't like expressing himself, but explores what happiness truly is. And me. A man who knows where happiness comes from, what passion is, why he works at a job that gives him no meaning, and despite his wisdom, knows that the amount that he needs to learn will never cease. A good thing.
Our main conversation centered around the self-hating religious man. Even though we'd met up for dinner to celebrate 2.1's engagement. Why is it that self-hating people are also religious? The subject? What he wants in a woman? Blood? Guts? A Brain? Just kidding. He named off a lot of superficial things. Socal contradicted him, told him what he should want. The interesting part was his lust had locked on Socal. Socal knew it. Everyone knew it. The sad part was he was swayed by Socal. Swayed.
In my mind, his dream woman transformed like robots in disguise.
I chimed in. I said he needs to figure out what he truly wants. I told him that he was so easily swayed by Socal, and also by the rest of us, that it indicated he didn't know what he wanted. And if you don't know what you want, how can you get upset when you get what you don't want? The chatter around the table dropped as if Jason showed up with a three foot machete.
A breeze breezed by. A tumble weed rolled through the restaurant. Crickets chirped.
I realized I'd dropped a depth charge. It's when the conversation gets too deep. How do I know this? The depth charge exploded, silencing the voices around the table. Is the concept of knowing what you want to get what you want too deep for people to get? I mean, it's basicgoalsetting without the neurosis ofgoalsetting.
See my post on theWay of Success.
So what did I do? Scale back the conversation to a closer level of superficialness. Not a bad thing. Just not as interesting.