Are You Stupid?

That looks yummy

That looks yummy

It’s wet. It’s slimy. Some like it raw. Others like it hot. Like people’s sexual tastes, oysters come in different varieties and are considered an aphrodisiac. In Northern California, Point Reyes is synonymous with oysters. Not so much sex, but people do have sex there. Not out in the open. That’s San Francisco. I’m not much of a fan. I mean of oysters. Massive fan of sex. Just check out my browsing history, which is cleared nightly by the way. Ahem…back to Point Reyes.

Some friends and I trekked up to this iconic tourist spot to have a picnic before hiking out to Arch Rock. There was a guy there who I had met before at a dinner. The only thing that I remembered was him stating, “My IQ is just below genius.”

After the chirping sounds faded away, I said, “Mine is below genius.”

He didn’t laugh.

At the picnic, he and a friend of mine were having an intellectual conversation, and something caught my ear. I can’t recall what it was, but by the statement he had made when we first met, I knew his ego was pretty fucking big. So my ego stepped in and asked if the world determined his happiness. No, he responded.

“So if I said you were stupid, you’d be OK with that?” I asked.

“No. I wouldn’t allow it,” he said with determination.

“How would you not allow it? I just said it.”

“I would have to defend myself.”

“Against my words that did you no physical harm?”

“Because you attacked my integrity.”

“So if I called you a car, would you become a car?”

“No, but you would have attacked my integrity.”

“By calling you a car?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t allow it?”

“So the world does determine your happiness.”

He gazed out into the distance and thought. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of our circular conversation, as I tried to explain that happiness lives within and really can’t be affected by the outside world unless we allow it.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Maybe I was wrong by using the word ‘stupid’. So him not getting it was probably my fault. But when I turned the word from ‘stupid’ to ‘car’ he still didn’t budge.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. This is a fundamental truth in the human experience. So many of us allow what people say affect us that we don’t realize it is us who allow that to happen. Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect when people say shit to me. See me going third grade on someone's ass. But I realize that my knee-jerk reaction is like slapping myself. It hurts at first. But as long as I don’t slap myself again—realizing that words mean nothing to me unless I want it to—then the sting will go away.

Here are a few pictures of Arch Rock...