Are You A Bore?

Has a stranger ever told you to shut up and eat?

Well that happened to me and this is how I felt:

In San Francisco Chinatown, my fellow yellow peeps celebrated the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival. A group of us went to dinner to celebrate, then headed out to the bay to observe the full moon. There were two large tables with twelve people each. I sat at the table where I didn't know most of the peeps and introduced myself.

Now, I find humor in everything. I'm not sure why, but I think it helps keep away the dark thoughts that tend to creep in. And it makes life a little more fun. Shouldn't that be 'funner'? No, dammit! Whoa. Issues.

There were three ladies sitting to my right, and I was cracking jokes all night. For example, one woman introduced herself to me, but I couldn't understand her Korean name. She said it sounded like Honey. So all night, I called her Honey as if we were in a relationship.

"Would you like more rice, Honey?" I asked. She laughed with her hand covering her mouth. Why do Asian women do that?

One of the dishes we ordered was Peking Duck. If you're not familiar, it's a duck that's been baked until the skin is golden brown, crispy, but still juicy. The waiter cut the skin off in small pieces so they could be placed in sweet bread that is lathered with sweet bean sauce and eaten like a slider. The waiter then took the rest of duck away.

This rook rike a flowah

"Did he just take the meat away?" I asked. "Did we just pay for the skin?"

People laughed, so I went with it, despite being actually concerned that the waiter took the meat away.

"They're going to make another dish out of it," someone quipped.

"So do we have to pay for two dishes?"

People laughed again.

"Where's the meat?" I kept saying because they weren't bringing the duck back. "Where's the freakin' meat?"

Then the guy sitting across from me said, "Shut up and eat!"

Everyone was like:

Chirp chirp

It took a few minutes before my ego sat back down, and I became myself again. I resumed joking and being sarcastic with the three ladies, and any need to verbally attack this guy had left. 

But..I'm a writer, and this is my site, so I'm gonna go third grade on his ass:

This fat turd is a fucktard, and he's missing a neck. His shoulders are tighter than a Church girl's twat. Like a dog peeing around his property, he put his arm around his wife when I looked at her. Seriously? Your penis must be tiny. She had chuckled at my jokes, holding back her laugh. For some reason she was scared to let go. Her baggy eyes seemed to contain fear. She's probably scared to be flattened by him. Why would she stay with a fucktard like that?

Keep in mind this is an abridged version.

Now, I know that was incredibly immature, hence third grade disclaimer. We as human beings have different facets to our personalies (good excuse, Jimmy). And I'll admit that I'm loud, but life is too short to take it so seriously. Look at Robin Williams. In every single interview, including the one he did with Charlie Rose, he was joking, improvising, going off-the-wall. He had his serious moments, of course. He was incredibly intellectual, but we knew him as someone with the comic genius equivalent to Nobel Prize winners, people he truly admired.

Even the three ladies sitting next to me threw jokes around, laughed out loud, and enjoyed the humor the four of us were in the midst in. And Asian women aren't known for their humor. The only one that comes to mind is Margaret Cho.

The guy who told me to shut up talked about business, work, and shit that was just fucking boring. It's the goddam weekend. Why do you wanna talk about work? And was he that insecure that he had to put his arm around his wife? I know from experience women hate that. They ain't property. 

People need to live their truths. What the hell does that mean? If you've seen Margaret Cho's stand up, she's brutally honest, especially about herself. She often makes fun of Asians, is open about her sexuality and her downfalls, and continues to express her views whether they're popular or not. So many people fall in line with societal norms that they forget to just enjoy life.

Are socially accepted norms that much fun that people wanna be caged by them?

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